Return to creativity

It’s been a while since I wrote anything. Life has thrown some shit in my direction, which stifled the creativity somewhat. However, I was at home for some much needed R&R today and decided to take the handbrake off a few projects.

1) I haven’t done any new music since around February, so all the works in progress from last Winter need to be finished, mastered and packaged. Not sure I really want to listen to that stuff now, but then, what would life be without a little electropop?

2) The Course of Empire: Very pretentious new project based on the five-part series by Thomas Cole. Normally, I can’t stand those people who piggyback better artists than themselves (although the flip side is being so arrogant that you refuse to have influences). Nevertheless, it’s a large-scale project that I can get my teeth into.

3) MGMSRMX – cashing in on the ‘remove all the vowels’ school of nomenclature, it’s about time Megamos Transponder was beaten into shape. I’ve identified about 30 (of several hundred) recordings that will make for sexy, tight little pop songs with a little coaxing.

4) The Secret Web Store. I’ve identified a potential commodity similar to saffron. Some of my friends already know about this, but  I need to implement the payment system and secure reliable sources. There may also be a forensics issue to contend with… depending.

5) I redesigned the writing website as an experiment. It’s not meant to be stumbled upon; I just send people there to save having to explain what I do. Interestingly, I’ve found that de-professionalising the site and dropping a few swear words in there has yielded around 50% more random hits.

This is what days off are for. Writing to-do lists and eating biscuits.

Tattoos

I’ve never been interested in getting a tattoo. Of course, people can do what they like with their bodies and certain designs or words can carry a lot of meaning for an individual. But personally, nothing’s ever meant that much to me and, if something’s important, I’ll remember it (or scrawl it on the back of my hand). Many tattoos are hideous and ill-advised – I won’t deign to give my aesthetic opinion; most are bland or generic and a few are amazing, intricate works of art. It doesn’t really matter; it’s only a bit of ink.

So I was surprised this morning – whilst thinking about the periodic table (Astatine and Francium, if you’re wondering) – when it occurred to me that it would be quite nice to have the thing tattooed. As a form, it’s immediately recognisable, so I could get it done small, say, on a bicep; or writ large, say, on my back. The back is good. Too low and it would be in the slag tag zone, but the upper middle – thoracic region (T1-T12) – would be broad enough, whilst also leaving space for the Lanthanides and Actinides. I’d have to put up with Hydrogen and Helium on my shoulders, but since they make up very nearly 100% of the universe, these are fundamentals I can live with.

I wouldn’t have it coloured in, but would hope to have the atomic numbers, or even the weights of each element, included. It’s a well established layout that I love and find endlessly fascinating. The only problem is, having it on my back would make it difficult [for me] to look at. But my abdomen is out of the question – too much potential for sag, plus what to do about the belly button?

Sexy Curves

It’s been a while. Long story, but I’m back. One of the things I’ve been doing lately is trying to consolidate my possessions into a small number of really nice objects, rather than an accumulation of things I’ve acquired. Both of these approaches have their merits. The former is aesthetic and the latter… well, I guess it’s about soul and substance. Narrative, perhaps. I tend towards the aesthetic (although you wouldn’t think it to look at me).

Now check this out. It’s the ESP Grassroots Kirk Hammett Signature Edition – a ‘rock axe’, with twin Humbuckers, Floyd Rose bridge, reverse headstock, etc. Note also the skull and crossbones inlays and the fact that all the hardware is charmingly blacker-than-black. There are more overtly Raaawk guitars – BC Rich do a fine line in these – but this is endorsed by Kirk Hammett. When I was a teenager, I used to have wet dreams about this. It was simple gear lust; I had the same thing about the Technic Lego Big Red Car at an earlier age – it’s nice to have aspirations. I’ve grown out of that now and also realise that my very first electric guitar, a Squier Strat, is actually far better for my needs. As such, I’m selling the ESP. She is called Jennifer.

But my real point is about curves. Sexy curves. Part of my property consolidation (watch out, eBay) is that I’ve identified my favourite inanimate object. It’s an animal horn, given to me by my improbably named dentist, Kenny Choo, which he picked up in Kenya. I don’t know what animal it’s from (anyone?), but I think it’s beautiful and it sits on the mantelpiece in my dining room. It has curves. The guitar has curves. Even my house has curves – by design, I might add. Women have curves, but that’s another story. Point is: curves are sexy.

The Lego car didn’t have curves, but I was pre-pubescent at the time.

The Matrix

For a long time, I’ve prattled on about why The Matrix is a shit film. Forced to confront this a couple of times recently, I actually found it hard to remember why and so, in the spirit of giving a fair evaluation, have watched it again. Here is my verdict:

The film has gone up in my estimation. As film noir, it’s beautiful to watch. I can even forgive the bad acting; the premise being so melodramatic and the genre so established, that this can be overlooked to an extent. Plus, the worst bits can safely be written off as camp irony in this context. It was tongue in cheek, right?

The amount of exposition was excessive. The concept is not difficult. If Borges can do it beautifully in a single paragraph, I really don’t need Laurence Fishburne spelling it out to me over the first 1.5 hours. And whilst the thing needs dynamics, we live in postmodern times and have quantum physics. Paradigm shifts just aren’t that difficult to swallow anymore. Look at Bladerunner: Beautiful concept, laid out early on, then gently prodded and tweaked throughout, allowing the viewer to draw conclusions hinged upon the ambiguities and anxieties of the human-machine binarism. The Matrix bludgeons you with concept, goes all Buddhist, then goes all fighty, whilst the film itself reclines into a desert of self-satisfaction, leaving no questions to answer.

Also, unless I’m missing something – and I realise they needed to set up for a sequel – nothing actually happens. We learn the concept of The Matrix, they lose Morpheus, rescue him; they lose Neo and then rescue him. There is no mission to speak of. It really does seem to be a case of fucking about with some bad guys and getting into a bit of bother. Perhaps the sequels will elucidate more – but I’m told they’re shit. Plus, why all the mythology? When they weren’t fighting, there was just endless chatter about ‘wise ones’ and constant re-hashing of transcendental epithets. All we learn from this is that Neo is a bit slow. And those bloody squids. Why? Why not focus on the reality issue and all of the interesting concepts that can emerge from this, instead of basically making Red Dwarf, but without the jokes?

The film is ambitious. It’s not subtle and it doesn’t assume any intelligence on the viewer’s part, but it’s very pretty. If you take all the elements and pitch them, then we have a high-concept (albeit dumbed down) martial arts film-noir. And all of those things are good – I think perhaps the Wachowskis just indulged their cinematic interests, rather than attempt to make anything long-lasting and, in that respect, they have succeeded. If I were to be glibly ‘meta’ about the whole thing, I’d say that The Matrix is exactly the type of film ‘The Matrix’ would create. It serves to distract, but any substance it may have once had is derelict and completely replaced by artifice. In conclusion: I’m still not convinced, but I’ve warmed to this a little bit.

Lego

There are a few things worth knowing about Lego. First, it’s been said that there are 60 Lego blocks for every human on the planet. That’s 420 billion blocks. The second thing I learned recently was that the very latest Lego brick is entirely compatible with the very first one, which is beautifully consistent. I really do love Lego and have been considering rebuilding my entire collection – although I do have more important things to do. Maybe one day…

The point is: I’m not particularly political (although I’m getting increasingly motivated in this regard. If you live in the UK, you’ll know why), but the very first political thought I had was Lego-based. It was around the time they released a series called M-Tron. I noticed that there were a lot of pre-formed components. Not just specialist bits in the new style, but major parts, like wings, chassis, etc. One thing I always liked about Lego was that there were a finite number of different pieces (albeit quite a large finite number) and complex things could be made from these. The apotheosis of my admiration was the gear box in the big red Technic Lego car, which essentially taught me how gears worked and was all done with a handful of cogs, some axles and normal blocks. Then there was rack and pinion steering, which would always be built out of a few relatively generic bits in pretty much every car until I could do it with my eyes shut. Inevitably, the one-piece rack and pinion system was introduced and that marked the beginning of the end. I nearly wrote a letter. Can’t speak Danish.

That’s it. In life, you have a handful of basics and you find workarounds. Sometimes it’s clunky; other times, devastatingly elegant. It’s the same with building websites or doing DIY. When the components are designed to aid you (and this is no bad thing; life has some cool elements), the imagination atrophies. I could go on, but you’ll only call me a Luddite.